Category: Journey Marker

A Second Chance for Closure

02/18/01:59

This moment really took my breath away. When I was 11yrs old my stepfather molested me on the way to and from this agency.  When we arrived they were closed so I never made it inside as child.  It was the worst car ride of my life.

But it’s funny how this second chance was presented to me.

I was at work when I was invited to a comedy show by this guy. He handed me his card and suggested that I should come out to his comedy show.

As I glanced at it, I noticed it had the name” William-Reynolds Agency” on the bottom line of this business card.  I couldn’t believe it.  I just assumed that this business would be closed after all these years.

Once I found out they were still open I promised myself that I would finally make it inside.   I just wanted to be step inside just for a minute as I was suppose to do that morning years ago.

So on June 5, 2015 I walked in the door of the agency FREELY.  I was completely overwhelmed as I just stood there in the middle of the floor.  A young woman named Mrs. J. Jackson greeting me with “How may I help you?”  I replied”  I just want to stand here.” I’m trying so hard to keep from crying.  She then replied without hestitation” I will stand with you then” as she wrapped her arms around.  I cried and cried.  I couldn’t hold it anymore.  Because I finally made it in.

With Hugs and Love,

Lakell

Trust changed me {Journey Marker}

Date: July 30, 2013
Time: 5:36 pm

Dear God,

Thank you so much for the revelation 3 days ago. Man, it was a hard blow. I know I got caught up. I wanted to be loved so much that I forgot you are the only one that continues to love me unconditionally. Knowing all that God it still hurt. I stood in the closet that night and prayed for you to protect my heart. Although I forgot that the process would include pain. I feel a shame, hurt, guilt, angry and grateful all at the same time.
I feel shame because I opened my heart and I closed my eyes to the signs. I feel hurt because he could have told me but chose not to I have guilt because I should have known better than to hand my heart over to a stranger

I feel angry because of the in your face disrespect to take no responsibility to just say ” I’m sorry.” Last but not least I am grateful that you God knew what I needed before I asked for it. I know I need to love people anyway because we all make mistakes so I will do that. I will forgive Markus Bolden. PERIOD. But I will never forget how it felt to be hurt by his actions and my neglect. I wish him and his wife the best for years to come. He was in my life for a season and I will say it was a season full of laugh, hugs, kisses and profound intimacy. I felted loved by him truly. I pray to you God that I will find love again at the right time with the right soul attached.
In Jesus Name, I pray
AMEN

Journaling Tip *When you start writing continue writing until the thought ends. NO erasing *

How is trust treating you?