Trust changed me {Journey Marker}

Date: July 30, 2013
Time: 5:36 pm

Dear God,

Thank you so much for the revelation 3 days ago. Man, it was a hard blow. I know I got caught up. I wanted to be loved so much that I forgot you are the only one that continues to love me unconditionally. Knowing all that God it still hurt. I stood in the closet that night and prayed for you to protect my heart. Although I forgot that the process would include pain. I feel a shame, hurt, guilt, angry and grateful all at the same time.
I feel shame because I opened my heart and I closed my eyes to the signs. I feel hurt because he could have told me but chose not to I have guilt because I should have known better than to hand my heart over to a stranger

I feel angry because of the in your face disrespect to take no responsibility to just say ” I’m sorry.” Last but not least I am grateful that you God knew what I needed before I asked for it. I know I need to love people anyway because we all make mistakes so I will do that. I will forgive Markus Bolden. PERIOD. But I will never forget how it felt to be hurt by his actions and my neglect. I wish him and his wife the best for years to come. He was in my life for a season and I will say it was a season full of laugh, hugs, kisses and profound intimacy. I felted loved by him truly. I pray to you God that I will find love again at the right time with the right soul attached.
In Jesus Name, I pray
AMEN

Journaling Tip *When you start writing continue writing until the thought ends. NO erasing *

How is trust treating you?

2 thoughts on “Trust changed me {Journey Marker}

  1. Good morning. I’m sorry you had to go through this. I liked the line “…I opened my heart and I closed my eyes…” That’s good writing.
    I see this is a journal entry from 2013, so, some time has passed, and “time heals all wounds.” Well, to be more accurate, God heals all wounds. Anyway, I hope all is well now. God bless.

    Like

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