National Child Abuse Prevention Month – Day 1

April 1, 2020

10:50 p.m.

I am a survivor of child molestation who believes in honoring the survivors of sexual every year in April. For the last three years I’ve had the honor of hosting a safe place platform named The Living as a Survivor Telesummit. The platform gave women and men the opportunity to share their stories of surviving sexual, physical and mental abuse whether it was at the hands of their parents, family or friends.

This year I’ve decided to recap of some of the survivor’s sayings mentioned during thee interviews. Please be mindful that a trigger warning has been placed on this content. I pray the journey to healing for you is as freeing as mine has been for me so far.

Subscribe to The Pen Letter for weekly survivor support. Happy Healing!

Survivor Sunday Healing Tip

Hey lady,

How are you feeling? I know you are probably tired of resting so much now since it’s been about a long two weeks of quarantine due to Rona but let’s not get stagnant.. okay.

I need you to complete this task to help support your healing by staying present in the moment. Here’s it is:

When you finish the task let me know by leaving a comment under the post. I want to know how you felt from start to finish in order to explain why I chose this healing tip to share with you.

I promise to elaborate on this healing tip in detail at The Pen Letter on a later date so make sure you are signed up to receive the email notifications.

With lots of love and a big hug,


Living in Singleness

Hey friend,
How are you feeling? Pretty good. I’m glad to hear that life is treating you well today.
How am I doing? I’m ok. Better than I was yesterday.  Since the last time we talked alot has happened in my life that I want to share with you.
I dealt with breakup from someone who I trusted with my heart.  He motivated me daily to move forward in everything I wanted to do. We laughed, we cried and sometimes we just spent priceless time just listening to each other.  I needed and wanted all of that so much I ignored the subtle signs.
Why would I not trust him?
Our love for music, family and the desire to create freely matched up so well I felt like we had met before.  I didn’t realize it at the time but I needed him to fill this hole in my soul. The desire to be wanted.  I gave him the responsibility of showing me he wanted me consistently in order for me to feel loved. Although he wasn’t faithful neither was I.  I haven’t been faithful with myself for a long time.
Looking back I realize although I was in a relationship for thirteen years and married for three I never really lived in my singleness.
I moved in with my ex-husband who was my boyfriend at the time when I was eighteen.  Not because I loved him but because I couldn’t get along with my mother’s boyfriend.  He was verbally abuse to me and my siblings when my mother wasn’t around.  She said during one of our many agruements one day started by him ” One of you have to go” so I left and she let me leave.  I was now living with my boyfriend to escape my current situation. No alone time there.
Fast forward to thirteen years later the feeling of uncomfortableness grew unbearable so I separated myself from my husband. Someone had my attention during this transition which made it easier to leave. No alone time here either.
This has continued for the last eight years.  I was afraid to be alone with myself forget about being single. It was not a time of reflection but a time of depression.  I was struggling to survive emotionally.  I need to be in a relationship since that was all I knew.
Yesterday I came across a sermon by Pastor Michael Todd from Transformation Church on youtube. You should really check it out.
He talked about how important it is to live in your singleness.  Hmm I never thought about it as being a necessary stage in life.   I thought I needed to be in a relationship quickly after my divorce since I was getting older which is not true at all.
My last relationship was a mirror of some of my insecurities and weakness. I blamed him for being dishonest when I was dishonest with myself. I often appreciated the time we weren’t together because I knew if we were together all the time I would commit my everything to him instead of HIM. It scared me that I may neglect my goals to be in relationship. That fear was a sign that this isn’t the time to be in any relationship.  I know now I need to focus on what God wants me to do. Everything will fall into place in His time.
Well friend I’ll talk to you later.
With Hugs and Love,

I Have a Dream…Thank You DR. King !!!!

I Have a Dream…

that one day all sexual abuse against children will STOP.

I Have a Dream...

that one day survivors will finally be heard by the people who were suppose to protect them.

I Have a Dream…

that one day all survivors will be HEALED leaving room for new memories to live.

I Have a Dream…

that one day we will not be judge by our bad attitudes but understood by the past that created the bad attitude.

I Have a Dream…

that one day all survivors will  STAND UP and REMAIN STANDING STRONG leaving no survivor behind.

This is my dream for us from this day forward.

What is your dream?

With Hugs and Love,


{A Survivor’s Heart} Still Standing & Stepping Out, The Purple Affair

Hey Survivors,

I had the pleasure of attending a phenomenal event to kickoff National Domestic Violence Awareness Month on Saturday.

The 6th Annual Purple Affair was hosted by visionary Tamiko Lowry-Pugh, the founder of The Still Standing Foundation located in Atlanta, GA.   Tamiko wears many hats as an author, empowerment speaker, book publisher, domestic violence expert, legislative advocate, mom, wife, sister and is a friend to many who have crossed her path.

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As a survivor of domestic violence, she has accepted God’s assignment to lead other victims down the path of hope and healing.  She will not only guide your journey but fight for you every step of the way.

This annual event is an extension of her dedication and love for the fight. Let’s paint the night purple!!!

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Meet the beautiful Tamiko Lowry-Pugh

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Tamiko and hubby Kenny Pugh

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Meet the beautiful co-host Aurea McGarry, domestic violence Sur-thriver

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Aurea McGarry and Hubby

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Meet songtress Angelica Monroe Boudreau

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The beautiful ladies and their handsome hubby

Next are the co authors of the newly release Wounds to Wisdom…The Survivors Series Volume 1.

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Some of the beautiful co authors.

Thank you ladies for sharing your stories of survival.

The handsome co author

Thank you for being the voice for the men dealing with domestic violence as well.

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Co- Host Yamma Brown Alexander of the James Brown Family Foundation is wearing this dress!!

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Tamiko and The Still Standing Foundation team

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What I loved the most about this event was the sea of smiles and support for a very important epidemic in our community.   This fundraiser/gala was full of beautiful individuals standing up, showing up and being humbly recognized for being the voice for the voiceless.

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This last photo I believe is the most powerful one of them all.  The signatures of survivors who have made the decision to stand for one more day.

This topic hits home for me as I watched my mom get beat to a bloody pulp daily by my dad as a child.  Although I was too small to stop him from hurting her I am now big enough to fight against people like him from hurting others.

If you would like to learn more about how to become a supporter please click the link

Thank you Tamiko and The Still Standing Foundation for all you do.

Until next time survivors…

Remember we are only alive to live this journey one time so let’s

make the best of it!!