National Child Abuse Prevention Month – Day 1

April 1, 2020

10:50 p.m.

I am a survivor of child molestation who believes in honoring the survivors of sexual every year in April. For the last three years I’ve had the honor of hosting a safe place platform named The Living as a Survivor Telesummit. The platform gave women and men the opportunity to share their stories of surviving sexual, physical and mental abuse whether it was at the hands of their parents, family or friends.

This year I’ve decided to recap of some of the survivor’s sayings mentioned during thee interviews. Please be mindful that a trigger warning has been placed on this content. I pray the journey to healing for you is as freeing as mine has been for me so far.

Subscribe to The Pen Letter for weekly survivor support. Happy Healing!

Survivor Sunday Healing Tip

Hey lady,

How are you feeling? I know you are probably tired of resting so much now since it’s been about a long two weeks of quarantine due to Rona but let’s not get stagnant.. okay.

I need you to complete this task to help support your healing by staying present in the moment. Here’s it is:

When you finish the task let me know by leaving a comment under the post. I want to know how you felt from start to finish in order to explain why I chose this healing tip to share with you.

I promise to elaborate on this healing tip in detail at The Pen Letter on a later date so make sure you are signed up to receive the email notifications.

With lots of love and a big hug,

Lakell

Living Familyless

survivor's shadow

For the last few days I’ve been waking up asking God first thing “Why am I alone?” I know I left my ex-husband eight years ago because I was struggling with some hurt of my own but I never expected to be single for the rest of my life God.” Or at least that’s how it feels. Then I began to reflect on the fact that I am alone when it comes to family as well. As large as my family is I have not one cousin who I can just pick up the phone and say “let’s hang out. I’ll be over in a minute” Why is this? Not to mention I have no kids at the age of 42. Again, I ask “Why is this?” and the way my mind works these questions will stay on repeat until they are answered. Luckily all my answers showed up this evening.

As the hours passed through the day, I felt better about something really significant. With all the responsibilities of being a parent to my siblings growing up it is probably time for me to be alone in order to reset and reflect on what I want my life to look and feel like at the end of each day. So when I was invited out to catch up with a friend that was in town visiting I jumped on it. Not because I needed something to do but because I knew the energy, I would be spending with this group of individuals would be reciprocated.

So around 6:30 p.m. we met up for dinner. We talked, laughed, ate and talked some more. It was a great feeling to catch up on what this particular friend had going on since they relocated to be closer to their family. I felt at home as I spent time with them. It was at this moment I realized the feeling of being alone wasn’t due to the lack of positioned people such as a husband, cousin or a longtime high school friend. It’s due to my lack of appreciation for what I already have in my life. Family members cross my path in unexpected ways all the time. No they aren’t blood related but sometimes the best love come from the people you don’t know. The best thing about this is I know them when I feel them. The love and energy are undeniable.

So back to me feeling alone. Sometimes I just need a gently reminder that I’m never alone I am just sitting still. My life is more than a shadow.

Mental Suicide

Dear Thoughts,

You are not always there for me.

Like I expect

You’re sometimes mean to me.

Like I expect

You are that comfortable pain.

Like I expect

But don’t misunderstand

Although I expect different

Sometimes different is unhealthy

That’s why I require daily check-ins

Just to make sure we’re still ok

Although suicide was the plan

I take a stand.

To fight for our mental state.

 

Learning to love me always,

Lakell

 

How are you feeling mentally?

{Salute to the Savior Sunday} Survivor’s Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning.

My mind is refreshed and renewed to receive all you have for me today.

I pray for an overflow of ideas and clarity of your Will for my life today Lord.

I surrender completely

In your name I pray,

AMEN