Heavenly Father,
Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning.
My mind is refreshed and renewed to receive all you have for me today.
I pray for an overflow of ideas and clarity of your Will for my life today Lord.
I surrender completely
In your name I pray,
AMEN
Journey Day 4: Being molested not only changed my life but the way I would think from that day forward.
Which explains why I think so much. ALL THE TIMES!! It’s a blessing when it’s ideas but a curse followed by assumptions.
One of my most consistent conversing sessions during that time with myself sounded a lot like this:
“Kell, you gave him PERMISSION to hurt you by letting him into the core of you. From this day forward, you keep your dreams, desires and happiness to yourself.” Signed….FEAR
Fast forward 2o something years….
This is why I have become so comfortable not living up to my potential.
This is why I am so comfortable with living in my ideas and scared to implement.
WOW!
From the moment I learned to read, I always loved learning. I loved to read self-help and business books. I developed wisdom very early in my life but I was still afraid.
As a teenager, the Small Business Magazine is where I dreamed the most.
I struggle everyday with telling fear I am ready to be a little uncomfortable to find out what fulfillment looks like for me in the business arena.
Which has been and still is ….One of my BIGGEST DESIRES!!
“So while I appreciate you protecting me as a child from never being molestated again. I think it’s time for us to part for a minute.
I think it’s time for me to grow.”
Signed ….Living As Lakell
Survivor’s Journaling Assignment: What is fear keeping you from?
Do me a favor…Reach back and share this post with one person today:)
When I create I intentionally breathe my WHY.
Why do you breathe today?
Do me Favor…Reach back and share with one person today:)
Testimony Tuesday: This moment really took my breath away today. When I was 11 years old my stepfather molested me on the way to and from this agency. When we arrived they were closed so I never made it inside. Recently someone gave me a card with William-Reynolds Agency.
I thought they were no longer in business. Once I found out they were still open I promised myself that I would finally go inside. Today was that day. When I walked in the door I was completely overwhelmed. I was the 11 years old girl all over again. So when I told the lady (Mrs. J. Jackson) inside why I was there she gave me the biggest hug and stood with me in that moment. I finally made it in….
What action will you take to reclaim your childhood today?
Do me a favor… Reach back and share with one person today:)
Journey Day Three: I restarted this blog for many reasons. First, I needed somewhere for my writing legacy to live. Second, I love being the voice of a sexual abuse survivor because sometimes we forget we now have the freedom to speak our truth about our daily struggles. Last by not least, I created this because of my nephew, Monta.
For years, my sister and I would drop him off at the babysitter, his great aunt. We had no idea that she was touching in him inappropriately until he was old enough to speak. We didn’t find out until he was five. My heart broke into a million pieces. I felt so bad that I was the one who kept dropping him off to her. I felt so, so bad.
From that day forward, as I’ve watched him experience the same struggles I’ve experienced growing up as a victim of child molestation myself I wanted to help him now. RIGHT NOW!!! So I’ve secretly promised myself and God if I don’t have a strong enough why for myself to keep pushing this forward, I will ALWAYS do it for him.
I love you Monta!!!
With Hugs and Love,
Auntie Kelly
Survivor’s Journaling Assignment: Why do you breathe every day? What is keeps you pushing forward?
Please share this post with one person today:) Thank you!!
Journey Day Two: This past Saturday I attended my Annual Vision Board party at my friend’s house. This is serious business for the ladies and I because we get to be creative. A house full of creatives is nothing but a good time in the making. This party is like no other.
We start off with Ms. Monica, my friend’s mom explaining and preparing our mind for the process of building our visual manifestation board. She takes the time to research worksheets and articles that will prepare our mind and give it permission in this moment to dream. She helps us leave our problems and stresses at the door and only worry about us for the next couple of hours. We are completely present and engaged to begin our project.
I begin the process of searching through magazines, agreeing with my eyes, and cutting out the necessary images and sayings to piece thought my vision together. This is extremely therapeutic and freeing for me.
Our great talks went together well with the delicious food served. Two types of chili, pumpkin muffins and strawberry shortcake for dessert!! Yes!! Yes!! I love doing things like this for myself with people I love and care about.
At the end of the night, we speak out loud our vision to one another so we can all come to an agreement to push and help each other along the way. Everyone needs support especially when you are on God’s path and no longer your own.
With Hugs and Love,
Lakell
Survivor’s Journaling Assignment: Get out your journal right now and answer this question. What is keeping you from clearly seeing your vision?
Journey Day One:
Today marks the day I commit to writing and sharing with you the life lessons I live through daily as a S.A.S (Sexual Abuse Survivor). The journey is not meant to be easy and it hasn’t been but everyday is worth living.
I want the same for YOU as well. I pray the same for YOU.
I know the issue YOU have with believing you are worthy enough for the guy or girl of your dreams.
I know the issue YOU have with feeling lonely in a house full of people who say they care and love you.
I know the issue YOU have as you suffer from depression because you feel like know one understands the internal fight between your mind and the devil daily.
I know the issue YOU have with living for validation so you over compensating to make someone else happy. Hoping maybe they will return the favor.
I know the issue YOU have with boundaries. Say YES when your heart is telling you to say NO.
I know the issue YOU have with accepting love from others since you really are not sure if you love yourself.
I know the issue YOU have with self-control when it comes to food and sex.
I know the issue YOU have with self-sabotage when it comes to experiencing a good healthy relationship since you believe they will probably leave anyway.
I know the issue YOU have with creating your own happiness without attaching it to the next person, place or thing.
I know the issue YOU have with keeping your personal space safe.
I know the issue YOU have with forgiveness since you haven’t even forgiven yourself.
Believe me….I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW
What I also know is you are stronger then your current situation right now.
You are going to continue to get stronger every single day
I will walk alongside of you if you let me.
Today is the first day of the rest of OUR life.
Lakell
Journey thought: Will you accept your next step? What do you need to do right now to prepare?
Reach back and Share this post with one person today:) Thank You!!
Living as Lakell 